An open letter to a friend

you don’t know
what i’m saying

you never know
because you
never ask

instead

you focus
on the way
my head
tilts
forward

and
my foot
stomps
the ground

you focus
on how i
struggle

to form a
single
word

my mind
pushing
forward
a syllable 

my mouth
rejecting
each
sound

instead

you
stare
at me
like
i’m
crazy

silence
is all
i hear

long
drawn-
out
pause

not only
makes me
never
want 
to
speak
to you
again 

it
makes me
never
want to
speak
again

do you
not
know
what to
say

do you
not
know
asking me
to repeat
the question
is okay

that
i won’t
bite off
your head

for being
a little bit
decent

instead

we stop
talking

at
least
in
person

we revert
to
passing
each other
in the street

to
extending
a
sideways
glance

else
you
avoid me
like
the plague 

except on
social media

where
the world
would
think
we’re
the best
of friends.

a like

the
occasional
heart react

a comment

they all
make me
remember
you 

leaving
me
standing
at the
station

wondering
why
you
left 

without
saying
goodbye

Raelee Lancaster

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